About Me

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I am a professional crafts person, working in clay and fibre, not necessarily at the same time. I am a juried member of the New Brunswick Crafts Council, The Nova Scotia Designer Crafts Council and the Cape Breton Centre for Craft and Design.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Definately Blog Fodder, says Joe...

For those in the know, this crazy Maritimer has been up to her a** in studio renovation. Because two craft shows, three weeks as artist in residence to prepare for, two kids to feed, guests arriving on Thursday from Ontario, sitting as chair of the NB Crafts Council, and volunteering for the Fredericton area AIDS Walk aren't nearly enough for one little lizzie to do.
Lord help me, I decided it was time to end the procrastination and just DO the studio.
I no longer have a potters wheel in my Kitchen. I have all parts to my paragon kiln attached together, just waiting for Bill to connect the power. The insulation that the EVER LOVIN BRILLIANT SUPERSTAR (who is now my ex husband) installed in 1996, is now neatly covered with plastic. Thank you Scotty for the loan of your staple hammer- oh and the fine beer. MMMM Beer.
But I digress.
The studio was amazing. no really. In tearing out the frighteningly Horrid cobbled together crap that was the shelving and workbench deathtrap -er, I mean lovely fine furniture installed by my beloved darling.. I realized two things.

1. During the early 1990's I was possessd by evil aliens. This, after many years of pondering is the only reason I could possibly fatham for having been attracted to, married and yes folks -Bred with, Lord Farqquad. All other reasons just seem so entirely out of line. Aliens it is, no arguments. Sick little bastards and thier experiments!

2. I can trace the power tool purchases by furniture ( and I use that term loosely) construction in the studio. The cordless drill in particular. Just how many drywall screws can one man use to screw one end of a shelf down, you ask? I can answer that, it is ten, because if you do that then you can use only one finishing, and/ or roofing nail to hold the other end down. No really. Honest, I have seen it. Oh, and shelving should always be made from recycled 100 year old floor joists, cause it is important that the shelves live on into eternity with the cockroaches and cabbage, even though it is perfectly fine to cut a ROOF TRUSS to create storage for your various and sundry CRAP including such things as cardboard boxes and abandoned skis belonging to your siblings who live in California.
Anyone in the market for a pair of Ancient Rossignols? how about equally ancient telemark boots.
I love my ex husband, I want to marry him all over again. Maybe he could renovate the bathroom for me, whatta ya think Kate???? want to be my maid of honour? I will dust off the snow beast dress -yet more proof of alien possession, cause who the f**k in their right mind would wear that much polyester satin, lace and sparkles (not to mention the bloody crinoline) in JULY!!! or ever for that matter.
The end result of the weekend spent gutting the studio is this:
I have located several of the things that are absolutely necessary for survival including my purple juice jug, the lid to my gravy shaker, cheesecake pans and some handmade pottery mugs. Popsicle molds and ice cube trays. Yes Kate I do own them apparently, no more need for bagged ice. we can now have heart and star shaped ice in our girly drinks. suddenly a g&t sounds so good.
I have a workable space in which to create pottery to my hearts content, until winter hits then I need heat. minor detail, can definately be fixed.
My kitchen is yet again full of boxes for me to sort and toss from.
I need the flylady to visit NOW my studio is lovely, the house not so much. it is definately a vicious cycle.
gotta go now, joe is emailing me about the Gaelic song.
tata for now,


Kate, the Odd Ball Knitter said...

OH Mary, Mother of God, Joseph and the little wee donkey too...It's not even 9 am in the morning and apparently you're drunk (remarrying Lord Farqquad, indeed). And if you're not, you should be. And I'd run you over a bloody bottle of gin but the liquor store is still closed.

Actually, if you had so much as a cup of coffee with the resident genius, I'd cut you out of the will. Hey, I can make that threat now, can't I...knew it was worth the while going to the lawyer's office and all.

Liz said...

aw come on ya know that deep down inside,you have great feeling for, though some might call that indigestion, or bleeding ulcers

Kellie said...

Damn aliens were busy in the Maritimes during the '90's. I spent a good six years being experimented upon too. Sometimes I wished for abduction, just to get a break from the twisted things they had me doing here . . . never happened though. Guess they were just having too much fun.